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my lesson today

Today was just any other day. I woke up early, and walk to my class this morning. Just a daily routine. And on my way, I saw a little cross on the road and I was compelled to pick it up, but I didn't. I stopped for a second to think if I should go back and pick it up...But still I didn't. Just because it is not part of the daily routine, something unusual like that.
It dawned on me how I've been living my life on the safe side.
Not wanting any change, not risking anything.
At times I wonder how have I change my life over the past 23 years. And looking back... I don't see that much change at all.
I'm not saying that the life I have right now isn't the life I want, because with all honesty, it's exactly what I pictured my life would be, I'm exactly the person I thought I'd be.
But how many risks have I exactly taken to make a difference? To actually be something. I look back saddened of what I realized, I've done nothing...
Nothing at all to make a difference...
I asked myself How much influence have I've been to other people? Have I touched someone else's life? perhaps... But I will never know for sure... I could walk out of this earth unnoticed and I guess that's okay, lives around me would still be moving on.
But what bothered me most is how I realized that I've made no connections among other people...I've never made something or someone matter in my life. I have never crossed that line.

Maybe that's what's been missing, something really important in my life, It sucks that I've come to realize that everything in this earth can be left behind, every wound heals. It just loses the whole sense of life and making connections.

How I wish I knew earlier in this life that everything is permitted. Then I would have made a lot of mistakes that could have made me stronger, rather than just letting chances pass by just because Im too scared to get out of my comfort zones.

I've been protected all my life, but I see now that everyone can't forever shield you from harm... little by little, I see the people who have always been protecting me from reality slowly fading... it scares me for I really don't know what I would do...

Today I was taught of a very important lesson from God. Maybe its why I've never been truly happy, because of past opportunities I've missed because I'm too effing scared I'd fail.. and failed relationships just because Im too stupid to try a little harder.

Opportunities come only once, and they will never wait...there's really not much second chances around this earth.

There's just so many things I would like to do ... but never did.. because it would mean getting out of my comfort zone...

I wish one day I could leave this place.

I'd want to be free someday...

It bothers me... I should have picked up that cross...

on a movie

Loved it! Rarely does movies like this have happy endings...beautiful... ooh loving old fashion... :s

Medical School

Medical School and Medical career entirely is all about Sacrifice. It's a decision of choosing a road that includes a lot of hardships and challenges that could take up every bit of sanity in one's self. The fight doesn't start on the very first day that you meet your very first patient, it doesn't start on the first day of work. It starts when you made the decision that this is who you want to be.

They say that time is the most important thing you could ever give someone, because it is something that you cannot take back.

And in this career, every second is wanted.

Not a blink, not a pause, no rest is permitted. Here, you choose others before your very own.

Weekends mean your time alone, or if lucky enough maybe an hour or two with people who share the same sentiments.

You get to miss the things that used to make you happy, simple pleasures in life that you deeply enjoy.
And it gets you sometimes, that just a simple movie that you missed could burst you into tears.

You don't get to see people you love often, knowing they're having all the time in their life, and you wonder, am i just letting my life pass me by?

You forget all other dreams you got, and justify that: well this is what i chose, I must stand up for this.

You put other things on hold. And wonder, would they still be there when I'm done with this... and well... will this ever be done?

Holidays get lesser and lesser, to the extent that you spend your Christmas and new years with people you dont even know.

You get to share your time and give hope to families who are not even yours and take for granted your own.

And maybe , if these things bother you , then maybe this is not what you're meant to be.

But if at the end of the day, you're fulfilled in the things that you've done for others, and it makes you sleep peacefully at night that you followed this dream, then maybe you're on the right path.

And its okay to cry sometimes, and feel alone and deprived.
But tomorrow, if you're still wanting this over and over, then its okay. It's okay to break down. Afterall, we are still humans.

WE all have our own battles in life.

And in this war... the FIGHT never ends.

becoming too thick

Hey my knight in shining armor,

In case you finally come around, I think I'd already be too strong that I might not need you anymore.

So hurry please?

- Super G.

The thing about being busy and exhausted every day is that you don't get to linger on emotional thoughts that could take up the sanity in you.

i wanna grow old with u :s

From http://www.givesmehope.com/
-------------------------------

"I was at the mall the other day when I saw an old couple sitting together. The man looked over at the woman and said,

"Jane, we did it. We grew old together."

The look in her eyes GMH."

-------------------------
aww-ness overload. :p

Love is never a Superman-complex. You don't love because one needs to be saved, or one got to do some saving.

Doctors without Borders

I've always had this at the back of my mind, and as much as I would like to ask the question... I'm scared of the answer that this might be what I'm supposed to do.





Because if it is, I'd gladly obey. But then, that would mean I'd have to leave the dream I've always held since I was a child...

srsly

"No I’m not a lesbian. I just, don’t feel comfortable being anyone’s girlfriend. I don’t actually feel comfortable being anyone’s anything.
I like being on my own. I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and, save the serious stuff for later."

- Summer, 500days of summer


or pwede din i try.... Joke! hehe

I have always loved this scene...




Let me quote Yang... "he's gone...I'm free."

to be sad or not to be? should be the latter .

must pack bags now....though i dont wanna go to the dorm still :(
pshh... till next summer! must do my best to make it to second year.! ROAR!


FIGHTING!!!!

hey hey...

And if you turn your back on me now... then it goes to prove I'm right all along...we were never meant to make it.

Happy New Year

This Year I'd like to feel alive.

I'd like to cry and be disappointed
get mad and be crazy
I'd like to choose and decide, and stick to that whatever it is
I'd be more happy, and be more sad
I'd laugh much harder and cry much harder

I'd stop thinking about what ifs and start making things happen.

I'd stop rethinking about things since it only makes me not do things

I'd be happy no matter what

I'd stop being indifferent

I'll do my best every second

-------------

I can't really and don't know how to beautifully put up the thoughts in my head right now, but what Im trying to really say is that, I'd like to feel alive this year. I want to be happy when things are great and stop thinking about why I'm happy, just to enjoy every bit of it because I've come to realize that they don't really last very long, just like sorrow too!
And when I fail myself, or if others fail me, I'd like to be hurt and be disappointed, i'd like to feel every bit of it and realize that these moments are important to know and realize the worth of every trust, hardwork and relationships. I would like to savour every little time that I feel like things aren't going to be alright. But just for a few moments... I'd like to make it last for just a few moments.
I'd like to be happy, this year, and the following years.
I'll make a decision and stick to it, not listening to others as long as I'm happy.I'm not gonna be a coward anymore.
I'll take responsibilities. For my family, for my friends and loved ones. I'll know every consequences of my actions and stand by it.

My thoughts are a mess alright, but I won't make promises anymore that I don't believe in, I won't make changes that will make others happy.

Because My New Year's Resolution for this year ... is to make MYSELF PROUD. :)