I have imagined my life to be this way and nothing more. After a days work at the operating room, i shall go home into an empty house and empty bed tired, unable to think of things that really matters.

How negative is that. This is part of why I wanna become surgeon... I just don't wanna have time to think about why I'm such a screwed up girl.

I have mastered the art of knowing when love really starts. It starts with welcoming a simple smile that makes your heart skip a beat, and so I will not let my heart acknowledge that. Not from you.

Wired wrong.

You were better to the ones that were worse for you. And worse to the one that was better for you.

I dont know why too.

The feeling of being stupid and rubbing it off to your face even more, but you know you could do better because you know you really just lack the initiative but you still don't try hard enough and you don't know why or what the hell is wrong with you why you don't try hard enough. That's exactly what I'm feeling.

I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. - Harry Burns, When Harry met Sally

I AM.

Two hours of sleep. Eleven and a half hours before examinations starts. No intentions of getting any sleep anymore. I have tons of papers to study on my bed. Still depressed for the unworldly exams awhile ago. I'm in PANIC.

If yes, let’s meet in the morning If no, I’ll see you soon

If no, I’ll try again tomorrow
Cause I only have eyes for you
My prescription isn’t quite twenty-twenty
But you’re the only thing that’s focused in my view

“The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance, but live right in it, under its roof.”

— Barbara Kingsolver

11 Jul 2011

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— Barbara Kingsolver

Just sometimes.

Sometimes... I wish I could fit in to the world that you're living in. Be that kind of girl whom everyone would be fond of... pretty, attractive and famous... Not that I'm not happy with who I am or my life, because I am, Im proud of what I am , of what I've become. It's just that whenever I think of you or see her... I kinda wish things were different. But not always. Just sometimes.

Insecurities eating me up alive. Again. =l

Mom: Sometimes, I worry for you.
Jessica : I worry for me too.

- Kissing Jessica Stein

I worry for me, too.

I would like to date someone totally wrong for me...wait a sec....that's all ive been doing all my life. :l

"It is not inertia alone that is responsible for human relationships repeating themselves from case to case, indescribably monotonous and unrenewed: it is shyness before any sort of new, unforeseeable experience with which one does not think oneself able to cope. But only someone who is ready for everything, who excludes nothing, not even the most enigmatical will live the relation to another as something alive."- Rilke