“What if she was meant to be, or could have been, someone important in my life? I think that’s what scares me: the randomness of everything. That the people who could be important to you might just pass you by. Or you pass them by. How do you know…I felt that by walking away I was abandoning them, that I spent my entire life, day after day, abandoning people.” —Peter Cameron

Like is an understatement. Love is a little too overstatement. Care...yes, that's the perfect word to describe what I feel about you. I care.

Maybe not. I was just too alone.

My heart does not race when you are around, it is at peace, calm and content. But being away from you... my mind is at chaos. I can't seem to get you off of it. Not the typical love that I've always known, but for some reason, I know that this is love.

I'm the kind of girl who doesn't know exactly what would make me happy. Most of the time I like some things without even my knowledge and sometimes, I'm even the last one to know that I like a certain person. It takes a whole lot of effort and encouragement from friends and families before I realize it, and when I do... I storm into a panic, in which I would deny in my biggest effort and find reasons why it is impossible and absurd to the point that I drove that certain person away. But eventually, I give in and realize that my actions went far beyond my awareness that I really am feeling something special. And by the time that I do, I am lost and in grief with all the denials and rejections I sent out to that person... When in reality all I want is that person to see beyond what I say and do, that most of the time, I am hateful to the things and persons that I love the most. Because I am incapable of admitting defeat... yes, that what I perceive falling in love to be, defeat. And that, I am just scared to be the one who fall in love first.

Can I say this?

“I accept the hard reality that I maybe might possibly be just the slightest tiniest littlest bit kinda sorta interested in him.”

WHy-oh-why..

“The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.”
― Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

Wrong move. T.T

Was I really sending the wrong signal or is it me who's getting the wrong signal?

I don't know why I'm holding on to that night when it probably doesn't even cross your mind.

Misunderstood.

I did say that for this year, I am gonna focus on finding love. But what I really meant was to be loved. I really had no plans whatsoever of falling in-love. But I got hit by Mr. Stupid Cupid's arrow. FTS! :l

I just want it the other way around this time. :(

Sometimes the world you've always known will turn into a world you never could have imagined in a million years. But no matter how much you pray for it to return from what you had before, sometimes, all you can do is wait and just be thankful for whatever you have left. And just pray that time will heal everything. Remember, patience is a virtue.

Do you know what fate is? It's building a bridge of chance for someone you love. - My Sassy Girl

More than ever, I need stress right now. I need to shut my mind with thoughts of you.

what hurt the most?

What hurt the most is not when I learned that he did not love me. It was not when he left me all alone. It was not when he found someone new. It was not when I was taken for granted. What hurt the most is not knowing what I am to him and not telling him how I felt about him. What hurt the most is the question that lingered and haunted me for years.. "What if?". And this time, I don't want that to happen again, this time, I want to know... I will find out the answer to that. I'm not backing up. I'm gonna let myself grow on you.