because i dont know why i cant just ask you upfront.

If you can read this.. will you watch The Script with me on April ? :)

I am jealous of the people around me who have the courage to settle. But I'm not jealous of those who did it just for the heck of it. Is it my fault that I know exactly what I want? And how I would never settle for anything less than that?

Few minutes before today ends

Sorry to you. But I don't want to be trapped in a relationship that I don't want. I don't wanna end up loving someone but wishing and hoping for something beyond what I can grasp. I don't want "replacement" happiness from what I originally can't have. I don't wanna end up fooling myself and hurting someone. And I hate the fact that I am happy and content being alone, because I don't want to stay this way forever, I want to be able to want someone so much that I'd go crazy, and to see that now is such a lonely realization, I wanna be crazy in love because I haven't. I don't want no second best, I just want to give my all.. and it's hard to find that in a world where everyone just chose to settle for second best just because it's easier that way. I don't want these easy life no more.. I want it hard, difficult, complicated. Least then I'd feel alive.. I miss that feeling. Sometimes I feel like it's downhill from here.. but what can I do? I just want someone who'd still be there when I shoved him away, someone persistent, someone who'd be here, never gonna go away despite "ME".

-G

I am.

Everyone else is off falling in love and acting stupid and goofy and sweet and insane, but not me. Why don’t I want that more? I *want* to want that… am I wired wrong or something?
– Robin, “How I Met Your Mother”