well well

I dont need to tell the whole world what exactly is wrong with my life right now. I dont need to justify my actions or needs to anyone because no one would buy it anyway, and if they did it wouldnt make things easier for me. So I think i dont owe anyone any explanations and whatever it is that I have right now, i think i worked hard for it and i deserve it.

hello

I've been really lazy updating my life.

I just have a few things to say.

Lord... please make my life just a little bit colorful... I think I deserve some sort of happiness. Don't you think? :)

Thank you. :)

If one day you'd stumble upon this. I want to say I'm sorry... for saying things, for ending it the way I did, for becoming the person you hated the most, for hurting you. If I had a choice I'd have it differently...

"What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you love. That's what matters. That's the only thing that counts." - Stephen, The Last Kiss




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A fucking retarded movie. Seriously. It's just unforgivable. I'm crying like hell. :s

Stoopid men. :(

I wonder.

"There's something that not a single person in this world has seen. It's gentle and very sweet. Probably, if they ever had the chance to see it, anyone would want it. That's why the world hid it. So that you couldn't get it easily. But someday, someone will find it. That one person who should have it will be able to find it. "

- Toradora



And...if it's so hidden some place where no one has been before... can it still be found? I wonder.

The simplest thing in this world is the most beautiful and wonderful, like how the innocent smile of a child makes my heart flutter or how flowers look in the morning leaves me in such awe...it makes me wonder how God could ever end such a beautiful world... But then again i realized, maybe, God is asking the same questions... Why do we destroy such wonderful life we have right now? Wars, anger, hatred... why do we choose these things despite the wonders that was given to us?

because i dont know why i cant just ask you upfront.

If you can read this.. will you watch The Script with me on April ? :)

I am jealous of the people around me who have the courage to settle. But I'm not jealous of those who did it just for the heck of it. Is it my fault that I know exactly what I want? And how I would never settle for anything less than that?

Few minutes before today ends

Sorry to you. But I don't want to be trapped in a relationship that I don't want. I don't wanna end up loving someone but wishing and hoping for something beyond what I can grasp. I don't want "replacement" happiness from what I originally can't have. I don't wanna end up fooling myself and hurting someone. And I hate the fact that I am happy and content being alone, because I don't want to stay this way forever, I want to be able to want someone so much that I'd go crazy, and to see that now is such a lonely realization, I wanna be crazy in love because I haven't. I don't want no second best, I just want to give my all.. and it's hard to find that in a world where everyone just chose to settle for second best just because it's easier that way. I don't want these easy life no more.. I want it hard, difficult, complicated. Least then I'd feel alive.. I miss that feeling. Sometimes I feel like it's downhill from here.. but what can I do? I just want someone who'd still be there when I shoved him away, someone persistent, someone who'd be here, never gonna go away despite "ME".

-G

I am.

Everyone else is off falling in love and acting stupid and goofy and sweet and insane, but not me. Why don’t I want that more? I *want* to want that… am I wired wrong or something?
– Robin, “How I Met Your Mother”