Sorry to you. But I don't want to be trapped in a relationship that I don't want. I don't wanna end up loving someone but wishing and hoping for something beyond what I can grasp. I don't want "replacement" happiness from what I originally can't have. I don't wanna end up fooling myself and hurting someone. And I hate the fact that I am happy and content being alone, because I don't want to stay this way forever, I want to be able to want someone so much that I'd go crazy, and to see that now is such a lonely realization, I wanna be crazy in love because I haven't. I don't want no second best, I just want to give my all.. and it's hard to find that in a world where everyone just chose to settle for second best just because it's easier that way. I don't want these easy life no more.. I want it hard, difficult, complicated. Least then I'd feel alive.. I miss that feeling. Sometimes I feel like it's downhill from here.. but what can I do? I just want someone who'd still be there when I shoved him away, someone persistent, someone who'd be here, never gonna go away despite "ME".
-G
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