SuperGerL

I'm the kind of girl who doesn't know exactly what would make me happy. Most of the time I like some things without even my knowledge and sometimes, I'm even the last one to know that I like a certain person. It takes a whole lot of effort and encouragement from friends and families before I realize it, and when I do... I storm into a panic, in which I would deny in my biggest effort and find reasons why it is impossible and absurd to the point that I drove that certain person away. But eventually, I give in and realize that my actions went far beyond my awareness that I really am feeling something special. And by the time that I do, I am lost and in grief with all the denials and rejections I sent out to that person... When in reality all I want is that person to see beyond what I say and do, that most of the time, I am hateful to the things and persons that I love the most. Because I am incapable of admitting defeat... yes, that what I perceive falling in love to be, defeat. And that, I am just scared to be the one who fall in love first.