goodbye 2010!

2010 is about to end in just a few hours. This is by far the toughest year I've had. I have learned how cruel life can be for those who doesn't take their guards up. I have learned that no matter how much you want something, that no matter how much you prayed for it or cried for it, if it's not meant to be it will never happen. And that it doesn't matter as well even if you've lived your whole life the same way, things can still be taken away from you just like how a thief takes away everything, sudden, unoticed and it leaves you unprepared. This year I've learned it the hard way, experienced it first hand. I've always had these things in my mind, that all roads leads to this. This year I have proven that indeed, ALL roads lead to here...heartaches. And yes, some optimistic person would say "No, it'll all soon pass and you'll see how things will change for the better.." and yes, maybe that is true, but for what I see, for what I know, for what I feel and for what I have witnessed for the past 24 years... it all leads here. I'm not being bitter with life, I am just being brutally honest. This is how life is, and it is a fact. But hey, I'm not giving up, Still fighting, still hoping. This year is about to end and I cannot be more glad, but I am scared of how things will be for 2011, I am praying this year I could learn different things, start anew, live my life again...but even if it turned out to be tougher than how it was in 2010, it's gonna be okay, nothing can ever put me down because I've got the Big Guy up there. To simply put it, I'm forever holding on to His promises, so tough times ain't so tough really, why? Coz look at me 2010 is over but I'm still in one piece! :) Crushed heart, bruised soul? Yeah.... but Strong faith I still have! And well, in a few hours... my heart, my soul will be whole again.

Ready for the next fight? or should I say Fights?? Hell yeah! :)

Merry CHRISTmas! :)
kami lang. Haha :)

Merry Christmas :)

Today everything in my life is incomplete, but despite of that, I am grateful of what is left. The true meaning of this day still remains, to make Love the most important, and that no money or any material thing can ever replace it.

I miss my mama and my daddy the most, and I am hoping and praying that sooner we'll all be reunited.

Today... I'm decided to make this one dream come true... to bring each and everyone of my family back together. Someday... yes, someday.

Today...the last piece that reminds me of US is lost...patches of you on mind is the only thing that remains...and soon all will be gone. It doesn't hurt as it used to be, that too, will be gone soon.

"All my life I've tried to make everybody happy
while I just hurt and hide
waitin' for someone to tell me it's my turn to decide"

This is by far, the toughest year I've ever had or maybe just the beginning. I have too many wishes for this coming Christmas which I know is impossible to be true but I am still hoping, after all, it's what Christmas is all about; HOPE.

I saw you in my dreams last night. I'm glad that you come to see me even only in dreams. I miss you . . . and I hope it's not a bad thing that I do.

I'm an INSENSITIVE BITCH. My REAL friends know that. So i don't have to explain myself, I don't have time for nonsense.

Can I still hope for a better Christmas this year? Despite of all the things that is happening, and the fact that we are all torn apart. Kinda crazy, the saying about How when one part of your life falls apart, one part runs perfectly smooth...Because right now everything is not right.